nuestra casa

all dogs go to heaven: a eulogy for judge

i've never had a real pet.

my mom never liked the idea of having a dog. but my persistence overpowered her resolve. soon after, a yellow labrador came--but by mistake. i named her "jury". i gave her 5 baths all in all before a short phone call informed me that i got the wrong dog. at that time, jury and i were already way past the bonding stage. our parting was unfortunate, but bearable. after 3 days, "judge" came to take her place.

it took me 4 days to get used to the sight of yet another yellow labrador at our backyard. i decided not to participate in any bonding instance that would again displace my emotional attachment. i built a collapsible wall between us. at first, the distance was reasonable. judge was 5 sizes bigger than jury anyway, so i wouldn't be able to scoop him up and give him a bath inside our makeshift bath tub in the laundry area.

but he was as persistent as i was (as i've already mentioned, i practically begged my mom to reconsider). he would wag his tail tirelessly at the sight of me and would run to me for help each time he sees a cat surreptitiousy tiptoeing its way towards his blue plastic food bowl.

and so the wall collapsed.

my body clock temporarily changed soon after our "connection". i would wake up at 8am to check on him. my dad decided not to tie him up and suppress his freedom of locomotion. judge's lonely eyes never failed to sear my heart everytime i leave him panting for liberation. scraping off dog poo on pavements made me an overnight sensation. my mom showered me with praises after my first successful "scraping session"..."ang sipag ng anak ko!"

the parvo virus slowly attacked my dog's intestines and made its way to his heart. i've gone through every bit of internet material about the deadly virus to ever have enough time and strength to resist not feeling sad. i was crying inside. my dad kept telling me not to look at judge anymore. but i did...many times, until his demise. the sight of him made me wish i didn't give in to his searing eyes when i tied him up against the post so that he would not wander off to some dirty scavenger's abode.

before letting him go, i talked to him and said "judge, kung hindi mo na kaya, magpahinga kana..." and so he did...the next day, at 5am. i miss him so much!

i will never again ask my mom to reconsider her firm avowal of not having a pet dog.

hits & misses

i am color blind. coffee, black and egg white...


ate len, ma, daddy and i went color hunting the other day. we went to robinson's handy man to look at swatches and to have all the base colors mixed in their uber expensive "mean machine" to come up with one ferocious looking interior shade. it was amusing at first, but the hours dragged on until we have combed every shelf and aisle of the mall's impressive hardware finds.
we stressed over a lot of color choices. there was this red-orangy tint that got stuck in my throat the minute i laid eyes on it. i can't seem to say the name of the color out loud, because i wasn't sure if it's the right one. ate len said when picking the perfect wall color, there should be no room for error. nevermind the smell, the prices left us nauseous! the color game created a big crater in my brain.


in this task, there's no point in being specific when we can't even find the exact shade of yellow (yes, the primary color) to compare the other shades of yellow with, considering that they all belong to the same "family" of color. there's sweet corn, sunny day, sunshine yellow, etc. etc.!
so we used the reliable "blind man's bluff" game and ended up choosing the safest shade to match our pieces of wood furniture at home. my mom was impatient (as usual) and wanted to get out of the store the moment ate len and i attempted to start a weak debate on whether kuya ren would be keen on our chosen color. so we scurried to the counter and paid for the 20-liter jumbo drum of mustard yellow.

"nilamon ka ng langit"

there are some battles we can't choose.


francis m's diagnosis came 8 months before, but death, like love, is something you can never prepare yourself enough for.


i am trying to understand the miracle of life that we take for granted. we lead different lives. we are all strangers. God is the only constant and familiar figure we know, but can't see--such a confounding irony. i sing his songs, i dance to superproxy, but we are perfect strangers.


a perfect stranger touched my life and fought his last battle this morning.

http://www.happybattle.multiply.com/

present mood

writing is good therapy

i'm a trifle short of modesty to own up to the many writings i have indulged my followers to reckon with these past months.

there's nothing extraordinary about my passion for writing. although i tend to write more often about the movies i've seen, and about my family, in words that are far from being plain and simple. it's only a matter of time before a critic describes me as highfalutin. anyway, i wouldn't dare explain my choice of words and writing style even if it means getting paid for it.

i absolutely love reading my posts out loud whenever i can (during my "alone time"). i get a good laugh out of reading my own version of jane's story and sometimes, i edit some words out to soften my approach and tame my vocabulary to make way for reader-comprehension. at the very least, i write because writing is my therapy.

after years of dealing with legal jargons, i am at liberty to choose a manner of writing that would best suit my mood, allow my eager brain to defrost, and relax my sentiments. i don't know of other ways to console my anxiety. i am open to suggestions.

a lot of people appreciate my style, though. i plan to write a novel to divert my attention from bad news and negative thoughts. i can never thank this (sort of) diversion enough for occupying my time while the bar results lurk in the shadows. i get cranky this time of the year, and i suppose you cannot blame me for that.

i hope it's ok to wish that you would support me if i do decide to have my novel published. keep your fingers crossed for me.

bolt from the blue

i cannot contain my excitement!


we had an impromptu family reunion last saturday. everyone was present.


my brother has this thing about giving gifts, and he never fails to shine on our parade. this time, he upstaged ate's generosity and gave me 5 books! i remember telling him how much i adore jane austen, and i'm hoping against hope that he bought me 5 of her best novels.


what made it more interesting is that kuya ren had the books gift-wrapped in candy-colored wrappers! he made me swear not to open another "gift" unless i've finished reading the first one i chose to open (by random selection).

curiosity is lethal indeed! :)

PERSUASION

(the first book)