i can fill this whole page up and name all the doting mothers i've met through the years. but none has reached an unfamiliar state of being in style, with grace, and more defined than my sister, len.
it was her divine appointment to be pilar's mom.
we had fun during college. we would always get into girl fights and uncasually thresh out nasty words and remarks about others who made fun of either of us...because we had no money to fend for our gimmicks and level with the rich but not-so-famous brady bunch. we watched each other's backs like hungry ravens waiting to devour their meal. i somehow felt untouchable because of that. len was never the shy type during fights. her voice would shake, but not her ground.
then she fell in love...
we still have our occasional moments of grace whenever i stay at her home after a short but sweet connivance with pilar. i consciously wait for her to arrive from work and try to catch up on chika. being unmarried has its own perks, but len's litany of words and palette of unfulfilled dreams pull me back to reality each time we talk non-stop about her life.
it's impossible to count the many times she turned dense when it came to worrying about pilar. deep inside, i know she's always fighting to be with pilar 24/7. but under normal circumstances, she can't. her mind drifts to where her daughter is in between meetings with franchisees and angry customers. len was once a fierce fighter, but she is certainly better at keeping traces of this trait to herself for fear that her daughter might bear the brunt. this makes her even more intimidating.
i could never have mastered the art of letting go. len did this in one take. she went where her supposed paths did not go. she walked towards an entirely new direction. there were regrets along the way, but of a kind that can be long forgotten and set aside. pilar was all that mattered to her. i had to enter the picture and remind her that it's okay to live for herself once in a while.
the bigger picture came when pilar practically begged to be let alone. she is really a gift from God, that girl. her values are solid and intact at a very young age of 6. so len, with a bitter heart, agreed.
now, the smallest of things make len happy. no longer consumed by the thought of her daughter slowly inching away to her independent road. i could almost see the old len coming out of the hazy smoke of motherhood...but while she's at it, i try to pitch in a couple of lessons and words of wisdom to pilar.
after all, it was my divine appointment to be pilar's aunt and len's friend :)
it was her divine appointment to be pilar's mom.
we had fun during college. we would always get into girl fights and uncasually thresh out nasty words and remarks about others who made fun of either of us...because we had no money to fend for our gimmicks and level with the rich but not-so-famous brady bunch. we watched each other's backs like hungry ravens waiting to devour their meal. i somehow felt untouchable because of that. len was never the shy type during fights. her voice would shake, but not her ground.
then she fell in love...
we still have our occasional moments of grace whenever i stay at her home after a short but sweet connivance with pilar. i consciously wait for her to arrive from work and try to catch up on chika. being unmarried has its own perks, but len's litany of words and palette of unfulfilled dreams pull me back to reality each time we talk non-stop about her life.
it's impossible to count the many times she turned dense when it came to worrying about pilar. deep inside, i know she's always fighting to be with pilar 24/7. but under normal circumstances, she can't. her mind drifts to where her daughter is in between meetings with franchisees and angry customers. len was once a fierce fighter, but she is certainly better at keeping traces of this trait to herself for fear that her daughter might bear the brunt. this makes her even more intimidating.
i could never have mastered the art of letting go. len did this in one take. she went where her supposed paths did not go. she walked towards an entirely new direction. there were regrets along the way, but of a kind that can be long forgotten and set aside. pilar was all that mattered to her. i had to enter the picture and remind her that it's okay to live for herself once in a while.
the bigger picture came when pilar practically begged to be let alone. she is really a gift from God, that girl. her values are solid and intact at a very young age of 6. so len, with a bitter heart, agreed.
now, the smallest of things make len happy. no longer consumed by the thought of her daughter slowly inching away to her independent road. i could almost see the old len coming out of the hazy smoke of motherhood...but while she's at it, i try to pitch in a couple of lessons and words of wisdom to pilar.
after all, it was my divine appointment to be pilar's aunt and len's friend :)
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