the idea of talking about others behind their backs no longer thrills me. at the outset, girlfriends have more fun during spur-of-the-moment reunions when they binge on salad and gossip. but the typical chitchat transforms into bitternes, and becomes too heavy to even listen to. before you know it, you've lost and destroyed every bit of compassion and strong character you used to rave about having.
it's not easy to wriggle out of a chance to scoff at your enemies. when others share a different kind of hatred towards the people you so despise, you tend to embrace the moment and without much reluctance, join the group of backstabbers. later on, you'd schedule another get-together only to talk about the same people again, but with more pizzazz.
that's why it's sometimes hard to fit in. i've realized, some would only seek the opportunity to get to know the obscure part of your personality only to use the info against you and spoil all your chances to redeem yourself by telling all your friends (and those inside your prospective circle) about your past fits of imprudence. nothing but your own dose of bad medicine.
if you don't want others to get the better of you, you have to become conscious about their feelings too. always mind the gap that separates your private life from them. you'd be keeping more friendships this way.
i should know. i've been through the same a lot of times...and i'm never joining the bandwagon again. if you really feel strongly about rearranging your friends' cosmos, take off that silly mask.
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