i have watched a lot of movies. but so far, none has actually left that big mark on my skin. to date, only 2 films were successful enough to have left a microscopic mark on my thinking head that has already healed over time with the help of a balm.
then "the women" came.
my ate mashie uploaded it to my ipod 2 nights ago, and i just wiped the last tear away an hour after watching it. yes, it was that good and heart wrenching. it wasn't a sob movie at all. it was more like de javu popping like seeds in the microwave. i highy recommend it to my readers (i'm assuming i have more than 1 blog follower).
i'd be telling a little about the movie, so in case you haven't seen it, sorry to spoil your evening meteor shower :)
when a guy cheats on you, you'd either swear not to have anything to do with him again OR (this one's usually the case) you'd give him another chance and forgive him. until he does it again, and again and again (and again).
when does the hurting truly stop? most women would rethink their lives and change the way they dress, the way they treat their men, and the way they talk even! it's like men's evil design to conquer women's world in one freaking cheating minute, so they'd end up getting a shortlived slap on the wrist and yes, go home smiling. believe me, this ain't the worst yet.
it keeps on coming like a train en route far far away land. if you give him another chance, he'd think you a saint and pray he'd never make the same mistake again. but he does, and he does it over like you're a loaf on a shelf that needs heating before it can be served.
until you realize, you're not the same woman he met years ago. you've changed into something more monstrous than the girl he spent 5 minutes with over the extra mobile phone he kept under his sleeve just to say "wait up for me, i'm gonna call you as soon as i get out of here."
once in your life, a man comes. in style, he'd sweep you off your feet and in timid words, he'd cut your love story short by asking you how you feel about him. of course you'd say you love him back. and that's how bitter endings begin.
love is something you can't prepare yourself enough for. love is wanting the things your girfriends want for you: a happy life, a loyal atmosphere that may sometimes be filled with weariness, but then that's where he makes a great effort to replace apathy with rejoices and white roses. that's not enough, though. it is never enough.
i have been thought of as insane one december when cris lost it and made a big mistake, and i "forgave" him. i transformed into this haughty creature, even my niece didn't recognize me at first glance. but i changed back. i missed my old self. that's when cris fell in love with me all over again (not that i believed him that time when he said this). something's got to give.
i "missed" my old self. m-i-s-s-e-d meaning, not only that lingering feeling long after your bf's gone after spending hours at the mall strolling hand in hand--both of you flat broke. m-i-s-s-e-d meaning, using that "good" part of your time for self-love and self-improvement. i used mine a few minutes late, but the old saying (better late than never) doesn't work well with the way i chose to live my life. my stubborn nature allows me to procrastinate even when it comes to my love life.
cris may have been unfair to me at one point, but who hasn't? you'd be surprised at how forgiving a heart can get--it's mind-blowing. the one thing you actually have control over--one where you can decisively put heavy reigns on, is being fair to yourself. if "being fair to oneself 101" didn't appeal to many, why would garfield even bother to get a copy? but he did.
but don't go patronizing yourself for giving up who you used to be (before your guy cheated on you). instead, do a once-over and put your old shirts back on. then move forward and tell your man "i'm happy the way i am, so if you want another chance, don't make me crop the crown off on top of my head to fit the borders of your screen or make me take my shirt off and leave it in the dryer to shrink to your taste."
:)
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